I know I usually don’t talk about personal matters. I usually just reblog things I enjoy. But today feels different. Lately it feels like the universe is farting on everyone’s life, including mine.
I will say the universe’s fart on my life hasn’t been the worst it could be. Still bad, but my life will go on eventually without any drastic change. The last two weeks I’ve been on muscle relaxers, steroids, pain killers and antibiotics. And here’s why. And why I still feel extremely lucky with the cards I’ve been dealt.
Monday, February 24th, I woke up with a small sore throat. I went to class anyway but by the end of my 2nd class of the day it had gotten much worse and a head ache set in. So when I got back to my apartment I decided a nap was my best option. Only when I woke up it wasn’t gone and and even worse symptom had cropped up. My bones were aching. And that can sometime be normal for me because I have bursitis on my hips which can flare up and cause pretty bad joint pain. But this aching was spreading. So I went to the bathroom to soak in hot water to help relive the aches. I was there for about 2 and a half hours laying in hot water trying to watch Hulu on my iPad as a way to distract myself from the pain. It helped a little. But I couldn’t stay there forever, I was running out of hot water.
So finally I managed to get out and back to my bed. I didn’t even dress myself. I just wrapped up in blankets and heating pads and tried to ignore the pain. And then it hit me.
It was happening again. Exactly the same as last time.
4 years ago I was a first year student at Maryville College close to Knoxville, TN. I had gotten sick. I developed strep throat every 3 weeks as a result of contracting mono that was spreading through the campus. The dorms and community style bathrooms were so filthy it was a wonder no one got meningitis. I carried hand sanitizer on my hip on a keychain and it still didn’t help me from getting ill. And like last week, 4 years ago I woke up with a sore throat. I went to the school nurse, she sent me to a doctor down town, tests were negative for strep and flu. I went to my dorm to lay down and when I couldn’t move. Two of my friends took me to the hospital across the street where I was put in a wheelchair because I could no longer walk. I was in so much physical pain I became hysterical. They gave me half a dose of ibuprofen and then said all my tests were negative. They had only given me a strep test which i already had done earlier. But they were telling me my flu test was negative as well. They never gave me a flu test. Flu and strep tests are completely different and can not be tested from the same sample because the tests are so different. The Hospital was so incompetent they sent me home without looking at me. Only for insurance to later say my symptoms were not bad enough for an ER visit and refused to pay. Which only made the hospital try and charge me roughly a thousand dollars for giving me half a dose of ibuprofen and sending me away. We never found out what was wrong with me. But whatever was wrong it only takes a few hours to go horribly south.
I realized what ever happened to me 4 years ago was happening again in exactly the same way. I couldn’t move to get up to even put on clothing. I had to text my younger sister begging her to come help me and take me to a clinic. After 20 minutes of her saying no she finally left the studio on campus to help me get dressed but forced me to call someone else to take me to a clinic. The first emergency care clinic wasn’t able to help me and told my friend to take me to the ER.
Once again the pain in my body was growing so much I wasn’t able to walk or even sit correctly. I was crouched over crying. Straightening my body out was physically impossible. It felt like every bone had been turned to glass and was slowly shattering inside me.
Thankfully this time the doctors listened to me and listened to my symptoms. and even though it took hours to even see me they knew what was wrong almost instantly.
I had contracted a viral form of Myalgia. Which I didn’t even know was possible. I had heard of fibromyalgia, but I didn’t think there was a viral form of it. They gave me 3 large shots in my rear, steroid, pain killer, antibiotic. And the shots were almost worse than the virus. It wasn’t even the needle, it was the liquid that was so thick it sent me into fits of screams.
When I was finally release I was able to stand and even walk slowly. I got 4 prescriptions to help keep the pain away because like any virus you just have to wait it out.
Both times this has happened I’ve been away from home in school. Away from my family. And both times it has screwed up my life and school. And the reason I’m telling you all this is because what happened to me was very serious. I still have trouble walking across my own apartment because the side affects are causing upper chest pains and Im out of breath very easily. Maybe I really needed to write down what happened. So I could see what was happening to me. That after the first episode I was still suffering from the effects those few days had on my life. And this time around Im still feeling the affects of this 2 weeks later. And I’m worried. I have school and I start my new job today which requires me to stand and walk my entire shifts. I’m scared I’ll have another flare up like I had two nights ago where I almost went back to the ER.
But even with all of this. I am still so grateful.
Because this will pass.
It will go away.
I’m lucky that this time around I was helped by a doctor who knew what she was doing and was able to identify the problem and helped me.
Today I found out from my mom that our friend’s daughter, who goes to school with me, has been going to the ER the last couple days because of intense pain. At first I thought my mom was going to tell me how she got what I did. But that was not what happened. Apparently when our friend’s daughter went back to the ER today and instead of having her appendix removed she gave birth to a 7lb baby. She had no idea she was pregnant. She hadn’t gained weight and her always abnormal periods hadn’t changed at all during the pregnancy. My mom was in so much shock. She was getting ready to cover our friend’s shift at work because she was driving down here to see her daughter and her random new grandchild. But as my mother was telling me all of this she got another call. Her best friend, my honorary aunt called. My aunt’s brother just had a massive heart attack and is unresponsive.
Both those things happened today.
My point is that not only is the universe having a field day with people’s lives today but what ever has happened, it will get better.
I will get better. Eventually I will be able to walk to class without feeling like my heart is literally bursting open. No matter how bad I feel, my life will go on relatively unchanged.
For my friend’s daughter, her life is changed forever.
For my aunt’s brother, his life is changed forever if he wakes up.
So I will take these muscle relaxers and these pain killers and these steroids because they will help me get my life back to normal.
And now I realize how lucky I was because my life will go on.
Not everyone is so lucky.